Teresa lives in a small town and has been one of the recipients of services from a local domestic violence shelter. At one time she had a workable and responsible life. She had been a manager at the postal service, supervised between fifteen and twenty-five people, and owned her own home.

Then, life took an unexpected turn. A man walked into her life and turned her life upside down. He was handsome, socially adept and fun. But, he was no prince and they did not create a fairy tale ending. She, eventually, lost her home, her job, and any stability from her former life. Remembering what happened still infuriates her.

"He walked into my life and I thought, 'This is fun and I don't have to be responsible.' Even though I was the bread winner and owned the house I somehow allowed him to take over. When he told me I couldn't balance the checkbook, I even bought that. In the face of violence and threats I kept denying that anything bad was happening to me. You know, sometimes it seems amazing even to me that I got myself into this mess."

Fortunately she began talking with an advocate with whom she found the courage to describe was happening to her. She finally left the relationship and became a part of the program at a local shelter. She feels grateful to them as well as the post office personnel.

The post office officials were instrumental in advocating for me and getting me a therapist. They followed the procedures outlined for survivors of domestic violence. They really tried to help me for years. Finally I went on disability. I suffered from post-traumatic stress. I had no previous medical or psychiatric problems before this mess. I had been a normal middle-class American woman with a good head on her shoulders."

Teresa became a participant in The Business of Me when the program director at the shelter told her "Boy do I have something for you!" Teresa took the workshop in September, 2004. While she reports getting a lot out of the program, full participation took some courage on her part.

"Some of the experience was hard for me. I wasn't comfortable socially. I had become very secluded as a result of my experience with this man and I wasn't confident about my social skills. I was reluctant to participate in some of the exercises and activities because I didn't want to show that I didn't know something. I am the type of person that keeps what I value to myself because, in the past, whenever I have shown stuff that is valuable it's been taken from me."

Nancy created an atmosphere that made these decisions easy for Teresa to make.

"Nancy presented things in a way that invited participation or she treated your decision not to participate with complete respect. She didn't make anyone do anything. It was all my choice."

Teresa chose not to do several exercises. She did not want to make a collage because she suffers from a neuropathology which makes handling scissors difficult. When it came to the point in the program to create a name for their personal company, Teresa did not want to do this either and she did not want to burn negative thoughts and words that she was carrying in her head.

"Nancy either said, 'No problem!' or created another way for me to do something similar. She is very accepting. She is on your level while being professional. You know what really stuck with me was that she was a professional woman and she talked in a language that was comprehensible but not condescending. And that was inviting me to participate”. Most importantly everything that she used in the classroom I could go back to because of all the handouts. So I walked out of there with   something in my hand and in my head, something concrete I could use immediately.”

In spite of Teresa's intermittent participation, she felt as though the work had helped her "turn a corner." Prior to the workshop she favored avoidance as a strategy for dealing with her money. Now, with the handouts and exercises from the workshop she feels much more comfortable with the idea that she could control her finances. Since then she has set up a budget and appreciates its usefulness. She feels she has really mastered something.

Teresa decided to advance her career and enrolled in online courses from The University of Phoenix. She is studied accounting (of all things!). She maintains her relationship with the shelter by volunteering there to help other survivors with their resumes and helps the administrative staff with the mail.

"I've finally landed on my feet after stumbling along. Nancy walked in at the right time. On one of the worksheets she gave us is a saying: "Success comes from success."

 

I think “The Business Of Me” helped people regard themselves as successful. Nancy gets everyone caught up in the excitement and the sense of possibility. I'm smiling now just telling you about it."

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About The Business Of Me

The Business Of Me is a landmark program that teaches women survivors of domestic violence to overcome their fear of money and teaches them real-world, practical and easy financial management methods to use in their daily lives.

Women in The Business Of Me™ create visions for the new lives that they wish to have and are taught how to use simple financial and analytical methods to aid them in constantly looking forward to the future that they want to create for themselves.

The initial part of the program covers six weeks with one two-hour session held each week. This is followed by three “Board of Directors” meetings beginning one month after the sixth session.

One unique feature of The Business Of Me™ is the "Board of Directors" support group that is formed. Once the women have finished the curriculum they create a support group that continues the group’s work into the future through monthly meetings and through a social networking group that is created for them on the Internet.

The Business Of Me is the new life that participants envision for themselves, a vision that takes form during the six weeks of the program.

The Business Of Me™ was first taught by Nancy Salamone who was inspired to write the curriculum based upon her own experience.

The program began by Nancy personally going into shelters to moderate the program. The curriculum has been reformatted so that caseworkers can present the program in shelters nationwide.

By writing the curriculum in its new format the reach of the program can now far exceed what it was and can now be offered to women in all over the country.

The Business Of Me is groundbreaking in its approach and is aimed at women of any socio-economic or ethnic background.

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About Nancy Salamone

Nancy Salamone is an author, speaker and an advocate against domestic violence who believes that knowledge about personal money management brings confidence and self-sufficiency. She is the author of the landmark financial self-sufficiency program The Business of Me. Her new book is titled Victory Over Violence - Nancy’s Story and The Business of Me.

 
(C) Copyright 2010. Nancy Salamone. All Rights Reserved.